Wednesday, May 6, 2015

Need-to Vs.Want-to

Today is a day off of work for me, so I get to be home with the kiddos! It's currently nap time, and I'm wrestling between the "need-to's", "want-to's" and "should-do's". I've decided to take this time with both kiddos quiet to share what's been on my mind in regard to Momster Mash. 

I LOVE this blog and the community that we've been building. I have said it before, and I 'll say it a thousand times more...I adore getting to know each Momster of the Month, and sharing her story with you. I have seen the way this platform for mommies has encouraged so many, through so many different emotions, life events, and more. 

While I was home on maternity leave, I had the time pour back into Momster Mash once again. I dreamed up giant visions for what this little blog could continue to grow into, and excitedly began taking steps in the direction I dream (and know!) this blog could go. I made phone calls, I sent emails, I brainstormed with anyone who would listen. I set deadlines, I worked ahead, my excitement continued to grow to keep up with my dreams. 

And the doors keep closing...

I'm not one to give up easily. Shoot, I've been working on slowly growing this blog for the past few years! However, my recent roadblocks have me reconsidering my dreams of this blog at the moment...NOT forever, just at this time.  I want to be very clear, I do not want to stop blogging, interviewing moms, sharing stories with you, or staying connected on Facebook. However, I do feel that at this time, I need to step back and take a break from the commitment. Until blogging can pay our bills, I have to keep my priorities in check. I felt I had plenty of time to devote to Momster Mash (a "want-to"), without cutting into my "have-to's".


And then I went back to work...

I returned to work for a new office, very close to home, with the perfect hours. Unfortunately, this perfectly perceived situation took a turn for the worse when my daughter got lice from childcare and I had no choice but to miss work.  I'll spare you the frustrating details, but I also had no choice but to find new employment. As much as I can see of hindsight at this moment, it seems like it was for the best. My work schedule is very up in the air and all over the place right now; I might work 1 day a week, or I might work 4 days a week. Hubby is also currently on an unpredictable schedule, taking him out of town often. 

And then the roadblocks kept popping up...

Like I said, I'm not one to give up, but with the hectic and uncertain work schedule (and did I mention constant childcare arrangement issues?), I just didn't have the time or energy to devote to getting these roadblocks cleared. I have had Momsters not return their interview to me. I reached out to 4 local business with either no response or no follow through on what was said would be done. I just don't have the time needed, and desired, to address these roadblocks and make my dreams for Momster Mash a reality. 

I came to the realization that I was thinking so much about Momster Mash, and trying to work on my goals for what Momster Mash could be, it was becoming a distraction from what's most important to me in all the world, being a mommy! I sat down and prioritized my life on paper, and Momster Mash just has to take a back seat. Here are some examples:

"Need-to" Priorities: 
  • Work
  • Pay bills
  • Arrange childcare
  • Commute 
"Want-to" Priorities:
  • Wife
  • Mommy
  • Playing and cuddling with my children
  • Outings and play dates on my days off work
  • Household duties such as groceries, cooking meals, cleaning, laundry, etc...These are mostly "want-to's", anyway, cleaning floors is not a favorite of mine! :)
"Want-to's" (when I have the time-to's):
  • Nap (only because both kids have been sick and I've been getting almost no sleep)
  • Barre class or at least a consistent work out routine
  • Read 
  • Pedicure (embarrassingly overdue!)
I have regretfully and prayerfully decided to take a hiatus from Momster Mash, at least in the capacity that it is currently, and with the direction I would like it to go. I will longer be interviewing moms on a regular basis, or posting each week. I will still manage the Facebook page and would love to see that community continue to grow. I will also still share on the blog from time-to-time, but I had to free myself of the deadlines for the time being. Please know ho very much I appreciate each and every one of you! Thank you so much for the words of encouragement, support of my writing and the direction of the blog, and for all of the sharing and connecting.

My dream for Momster Mash was to create a "village". To help mommyhood feel less isolating, by connecting and sharing and empowering and encouraging moms from all walks of life. I have not closed the book on Momster Mash, but instead, think about it like I'm simply placing a bookmark within the perfect place to pause, carry on with other things of this life, and to return again when the time is right to finish the story.