Thursday, June 7, 2012

Ten Years Ago

While doing some organizing in our office today I came across a little something I wrote about 10 years ago while working front desk at a gym, soon after my move to Seattle..  As my 30th birthday approaches, I thought it was very timely. 

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"Sit it out or dance" I hear as Lee Anne Womack belts out her beautiful voice over the stereo.  It's 4:10 p.m. and I'm sitting at a job that I love, studying homework I actually enjoy, and I'm living with my best friend Cheryl.  This time in my life is so perfect...okay, I might be overdoing it a little.  This time in my life that seems so perfect in so many ways also seems to be the most hectic, confusing and uncertain time in my life.  I say "time in my life" like I've been around for decades and have experienced so much.  But I haven't.  I've only been walking this earth for a measly 20 years; 20 years that I am very grateful for, might I add. 

Twenty years sounds like a long time, but it sure doesn't feel like a long time.  I can't help but imagine what the next 20 will feel like.  Twenty is such an odd age; it's so perfectly imperfect, completely incomplete, and totally confusing.  It's nice to have the "teen" stigma detached from me; it's amazing what one more year can give you.  When I started telling people I was 20, I was stunned by the way people treated me differently.  My opinion actually matters? After being alive for 20 years, the level of respect sure does acclimate, but the level of accountability does also.  People expect me to know what I'm going to do for the rest of my life.  I dread the question that I have to answer almost every day, "So, what do you plan on doing?"  What kind of question is that?

I plan on living. 

I plan on working. 

I plan on getting married and having a family. 

I give people the answer "I'm in a dental assisting program, will be working in less than a year, and then I plan on applying to dental hygiene school."  No matter who I tell, it seems I always get my future plans analyzed.  Either they approve, or they have some comments on why I shouldn't do it, or do it the way I plan.  I just tell myself not to listen to anyone their opinions.  Advice, on the other hand, comes across differently and is greatly appreciated and accepted.  Sometimes, especially now, I have to learn for myself or I will never know what it is that truly makes me happy, and right now I am happy.  I am happy with my job.  I am happy with school.  I am happy living with my best friend in the whole world. 

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The choices made at 20 years, have such an impact at 30 years! I'm so glad I got my act together and made some changes for the better 10 years ago.  I would have never become a dental hygienist (a career that I love), I would have never met Matt (I can't imagine spending my life with anyone else), and our baby Lucy would not be arriving in just a few weeks.  I am so incredibly blessed, and I am welcoming my thirties with open arms!

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