Saturday, July 18, 2009

Remembering the past, with eyes on the future . . .

Through many friends, old and new, I have become more and more intrigued with the world of "blogging". I have always found a therapeutic freedom in documenting my thoughts and expressing myself in the shape of written words, and preserving memories with pictures. So it just seems natural for me to join in on the 21st Century mega-journal/scrapbook . . . and become a "Blogger"!

It is probably obvious to most of you that it will be I, Amanda, doing the blogging 'round these parts. Through marriage, Matt and I have become "one flesh" and I want to share our life together with you. For our friends and family, near and far, the hope is that this blog will be one more way to stay connected.

So, being reminded of my love of this "documentation therapy", I dug out my old journals dating back to 1997 for a stroll down memory lane. I was refreshed, entertained, and reminiscent as I read my old poems, songs, quotes, and random thoughts. To commence the life of this blog I am (nervously) going to share a bit of my past with you, and am looking forward to sharing the future as "Mattanda" with you as well.

(Written on a late-night flight)

This ocean of clouds has me floating,
today I'm breathing new air.
My journey may be somewhat abrupt,
but at least I'm going somewhere.

The horizon is calling my name,
as the sunset shines in on me.
Uncertain on what's waiting below,
as I descend down through the white sea.

Darkness suddenly surrounds us,
and then flashes of light catch my eye.
Then, in a heartbeat I see them;
twinkling lights below the sky.

Culture Shock 12-8-02
(written just after my move to Seattle)

Heads buried in books bobbing up and down in rhythm
Conversation is overrated
Marching on through the crowds, eyes and minds focused on something else
Greetings dissipated

Can't look them in the eye, might have to give them the
Presidents in your pocket
Swallow all your pride, beg just one more time
All in the conglomerate


Look patiently elsewhere
And heaven will awake
Time found heaven
To be times' true break


Excuse me ma'am, could you spare some change?
I've lost my bag to a man down the street.
He ran so fast it wasn't worth my time.

Hey sir, could you spare some time?
I've lost my way to a man with a big gun.
He took my car, but left me my life.

Pardon me, could you spare my life?
I've lost my soul to a man down below.
He lied to me, and left me with nothing.

Could you spare my life, and some time, and a little change?
I've lost so much time and my life needs rearranged.
Mistakes, I've made plenty
and faults, I have many
but lives, I only have one.

(Finally, a new one added to the book)

Poems, prayers, songs, dreams
Written so neatly in ink
Memories burst their way back in
They seem so distant, so foreign

Learning, growing, breaking, healing
Could that have really been me?
The change is overwhelming
I'm the only one who truly knows

Guided, carried, pushed, loved
For where I am is a blessing
For the blessing
I am forever grateful

He knew my pain
He is the reason
From the inside out
Made new

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